Hero of mine

Have you ever wonder how’s your life could be without her presence ?

Have you ever thought that the person who loves you the most is no one but her ? 

Have you ever consider of pouring your heart to none of your friends but her ? 

Here, let me tell you something. I need you to know. So that you won’t do the same as I did.

She wakes up at 5 in the morning. She cooks and she leaves for work at 7 something. Once she told me, “Mama lunch dekat office makan roti dengan oat je. Petang balik rumah baru mama makan nasi sebab sayang nak keluar duit”. And all I did were spending my dollars on things which you call em useless. Waste. She get back home at 6 and jogs until 7. Does laundry, prepares for dinner, ironing clothes and sleeps at 10. 

That’s her life. 

If you quite unsure about naming your hero, I suggest you put her on the top of the list.

I remember this one memory of mine when I was in secondary school. Never do the laundry by myself cause she told me not to. She came to visit me every Friday evening and took my clothes and told me “Baju biar mama yang basuh, balang duduk asrama ni belajar rajin-rajin”. Then I watched her walked away with that bunch of clothes down the street to her car.

That was the most regretted thought of mine. I should have helped her. I should have at least be there as her companion. But I did not. I shed gallons of tears whenever I have a thought of this. Not to mention countless of heartbreaking things I did since she called me her son. Since I lived to be her son.

Mom, you owe me nothing. But I owe you my life. Never should you die before me, because if you’re not here for me, then a part of me has already leaves with you. 

I’m so proud of you mom.

Guys, go hug your moms a lil tighter today. Because you don’t really know, if you still have your chance to hug them in a second from now. 

"Say I love you mom. I love you."

Dogue Talk

You know.

Sometimes it seems so hard to actually believe that people are not gonna hurt you.

Unless if you choose not to give a fuck. This, I profoundly agree with you.

I’m glad to willingly curse you to death no matter how pathetic your life has been. Cause I thought I should not put matters to it and pretend that I care.

Cause you don’t worth my respect. I always wanted to be nice, to you. Always.

Just so you know. 

You lil brat.

KEMSIS !

Just got back from SMASKP. Or Sekolah Menengah Sains Agama Kuala Pilah in case you have never heard of it.

Being a facilitator reminds me of my old days. They were so eager to join this KEMSIS. I thought they were gonna let those 3 days slipped by but I was wrong. There, I found one kind of curiosity that you can hardly found in human. I’m not saying that they were acting like baboons or apes or wtv even theres one haha.

The thing is, I have never put myself in a spot for someone to be appreciated or respected or blablabla. For someone to call me Abang shit I hate this the most this is unbearable.

I just want to let you know, I miss the place. I have no idea of what I’m missing but still …

And I should post this like 2 days ago. Ah fakit.

Pay Day

I just got my result this evening. Wasn't that good and wasn't that bad oso.

By the way, thank you for this beautiful life of mine. Thank you for everything you gave me and for everything you did not. Thank you for blessings that I didn’t even realize were blessings, and thank you for everything else because no matter how many things I try to list, at the end of the day, I can’t even come close to thanking you enough.

Alhamdulillah.  

Random

I was planning to write like everyday since I’ve nothing to work on. But there goes my plan.  Actually theres a lot to tell but those stories were long gone. It has been like what, a year since I last posted. Now i'm in my second year of degree life. Yet, nothing turns out to a complete fiasco. I’m happy. And i'm so into my life now. Yeah, problems gonna hit you cause you’re human. You can’t run away from this. But theres always some ways to figure it out. How to solve, how to decide, how to overcome and how to forget. And this is the second post for today haha too excited. I’m getting there peeps. I should come up with a thing. I can’t simply appear out of a sudden and have no idea on what to write. But fuck you, this is my blog by the way. 

Till then, cheerio.

Soon

I vow to help you love life

To always hold you with tenderness

To have the patience that love demands

To speak when words are needed

To share the silence when they are not

To agree to disagree on the red velvet cake

And to live within the warmth of your heart

And always call it home

I vow to fiercely love you

In all your forms, now and forever

I promise to never forget that

This is a once-in-a-lifetime love

And to always know in the deepest part of my soul

That no matter what challenges might carry us apart

That we will always find the way back to each other