Tisu

I wonder for how many years that i have to struggle with words. 

Words kill, in case you don't notice. 

But as far as i am concerned, words don't literally kill.

Come here ay, listen to this echoing sound of an empty heart i have been living with

And watch this hypocrite man standing before you

He might not cheer with joy, but to stand still and not fade he must

May God bless you, with a heart nothing like mine. 

Coz mine has been destructed, and God gives him some time.

Saturday

This morning, i woke up and walked to the piano.

No sound, no melody, just a stupid piano staying there and be useless.

I used to play it as my escapism, if i'm missing someone, if i got my feelings so content that i've to express them this way.

It won't produce melody if you don't play it with both hands. I know it won't.

God.

The Day I Turn To God

These fuckers scared the shit out of me. Never did i thought that i can carve a smile and it affects people. The smile didn't even help me so how could it work with others ? And these fuckers, i feel like i have to leave again. Those days when i pushed people away and being psychotic, and then turned to god, and left Him again, and seek for Him only when i need someone to talk to. It has been months since i knelt down and spill over, and tears came effortlessly. If and only if I could be alone, and everything works just fine. It could be now, where i want to turn to god and share stories with the one who actually listens even there are those who can still listen, or it could be the time where i should really turn to god, and only him listens and i shall not return.

The thing is, Twitter is overrated. You think it's a kind of perfect page to spill on when it's not. And now you know, i found my place. Leave it for years, i would still looking for a way back and make myself comfortable, cause this is my home. The perfect page where I belong.

Pita

Kau jatuh lalu kau bangun
Seperti nafas itu ditahan
Konon gagah
Lalu air mata mu titis lincah

Cucuknya duri di jari
Seksa perih di hati
Dia uji lagi
Mampu kau diri pada paksi

Sang hidup
Kotak penuh raksa
Angkuhnya kau celup
Bak badang berkuasa

Kau tewas kala di atas
Lantas refleksi cari solusi mapan
Kadang rintih kun bebas
Azalinya ketentuan
Ini bicara cara tuhan